“Well, it’s not common for your age group…,” was the response I got from my OB when I asked her if she’s had Type 1 Diabetic patients before.
If you’re confused, don’t worry, I was too.
Let me back track.
The day after I got my positive pregnancy test I messaged my OBGYN. It was a Saturday but I couldn’t wait until Monday to tell her the great news. I’ve been seeing my OB for the past 10+ years. Nobody LOVES going to the OB for the yearly pap and exam, but Dr. M is my favorite doctor. We talked about my diabetes during visits, she knew how diabetes affects my feminine health as well as my overall health. She was able to diagnose a rare skin disorder on my shins that is diabetes-related (NLD). Two dermatologists couldn’t diagnose it, let alone treat it.
Dr. M is patient, easy to talk to, down to earth, and I trust her. For the past few years she’s been working with me and preparing me for pregnancy. So of COURSE I was so excited to see her for my first pregnancy visit.
First thing Monday morning I called her office to set up an appointment. The office person who answered the phone cut me off right away when I asked for an appointment with Dr. M. She said “Oh no, your first appointment is with Dr. V, you see him for the first 20 weeks, and then you see Dr. M and Dr. P for the remainder of your pregnancy.”
Now, I understand that I am not guaranteed to have Dr. M on the day of delivery, they all go on call and whoever is on call from the office when you go into labor will deliver your baby. I really just wanted to see MY doctor for the first appointment. I politely asked if I could have my appointment with Dr. M just for the first appointment, I explained my health history, my diabetes, everything (even though I really shouldn’t have had to). She rudely put me on hold and someone else picked up the phone a few minutes later and told me I could see Dr. P (still not my doctor). Fighting back tears now, I say “Okay sure, but please have Dr. M call me at her convenience, I need to speak with her.” And I hang up.
I went from floating on cloud nine, to bursting into tears because a rude office receptionist hates her job and shouldn’t deal with the public. I immediately logged into the patient portal and messaged Dr. M about what just happened and asked if she could please call me. Not even 2 minutes later my phone rang and it was someone else from the office. She said she has me in with Dr. M in a few weeks. I thank her and hang up. I also know that this office person read my message and I can pretty much assume that the doctor would never see the message.
Yes, I have my appointment with Dr. M which is what I wanted, but dealing with this horrible office staff is not what I need for the next 8 months. Now, this isn’t new, the office staff is notoriously horrible and rude, but dealing with them once a year wasn’t a big deal, now I’m beginning to think this might be a big deal.
Days go by and I don’t get a call from Dr. M, I’m not surprised. I figured, once I have her in person I will tell her everything. In the meantime after telling some of my close family members, I get a recommendation for a new OB. This new office is in Lincroft which is a more “ritzy” town by me and the two doctors there are supposed to specialize in high-risk pregnancies. They are not high risk OBs but supposedly work with more high-risk patients and work with the high-risk “Perinatal” or “Maternal Fetal Medicine” doctors. Which as a T1D I need to see the perinatal OB too, in conjunction with my endocrinologist, of course.
Okay, this sounds great, maybe I’m better off at a new office with new doctors that specialize in pregnancies like mine. Sign me up. I called to make an appointment, and the office lady, “Lisa” was the sweetest, she congratulated me on my pregnancy and she set me right up with an appointment. When I told her about my diabetes she asked me about my A1c and if I had an endocrinologist, and I have to say I was impressed. I told her she was an angel and I was so excited for my new appointment.
I hung up and cancelled my appointment with Dr. M and they didn’t ask why or if I wanted to reschedule, they just hung up. At that point I felt like I made the right decision. I was finally stress-free and ready for my pregnancy journey.
Week 8: 10-13-2020
My first OB appointment at 8 weeks was magical! I walked in and was greeted by Lisa, the cheerful woman from behind the phone. I was taken back by a nice nurse and ultrasound tech was so sweet. She let me facetime Eddie for the ultrasound because he wasn’t allowed in the office with me because of Covid restrictions. We got to see our little nugget on screen and it made everything so real! She printed out my ultrasound photos, my first baby pics! I was so happy, but who wouldn’t be?
A few minutes later my new OB walked in. She introduced herself and shook my hand. We went over some general questions and she said that everything looked good on my ultrasound. We went over the next tests I needed, diabetes complications/risks, some things I already knew. It was my first appointment and she doesn’t know me, but I have to say she didn’t blow me away initially. I’m a “first impressions” kind of person, and can usually get the vibe from someone right away. I wasn’t exactly vibin’ with her and I felt like she wasn’t listening to me when I spoke, let alone let me finish my thought.
I figured that if she’s this renowned doctor that maybe she’s just all business. I’m used to a more laid back conversation with Dr. M. It’s my first appointment, we have to get to know each other, so I let it go, it will be fine. She’s the doctor and she’s going to be the one in the delivery room with me and she needs to deliver my baby safely and keep me safe. I left the office with my ultrasound pics in hand and ran to the car to show Ed who’s been waiting in the car for an hour. We found a diner and got some lunch and we were so excited about our baby!
Week 10: 10-27-2020
For my second appointment, I met with the tech again first and I got to hear my baby’s heartbeat, it was amazing!
Now I was going to see the doctor again. This time I came prepared with just a few questions for her. The first appointment was all excitement. This time I’m going to get some clarification. My questions were simple:
- Is it safe to have an Italian sub? – I’ve been dying for an Italian sub. I wasn’t craving anything but this sandwich with ham, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, and extra oil and vinegar.
- Can you walk me through the day of delivery?
- Have you had Type 1 Diabetic patients before?
The doctor came in, same cold greeting, we talked about some particulars, she suggested I get the flu shot and wanted me to do some blood tests today in the office — no problem!
When it came time for questions, she didn’t really give me a straight answer about the Italian sub. She just said cold cuts are discouraged for pregnant women because of the risk of Listeria. She never actually recommended against or for it. I’m still craving an Italian sub, I did some research myself and decided to wait until after baby is here to have my Italian sub.
Next question: “Can you walk me through the day of delivery?” I told her I really didn’t know what to expect the day-of, I just wanted a general walk through. But I had specific questions about my insulin pump and sensor. I want to continue to wear my pump and sensor during delivery, I DON’T want to be on an insulin drip like some diabetics are put on in the hospital. She again, didn’t give me a clear answer and told me it’s too early to tell. I told her I work with my endo weekly and that she assured me that I can wear my pump and sensor (and that my pump is in fact my own personal “insulin drip”). Side note: my husband will be the only person in that hospital room to control my insulin if it’s not me. No offense, but I don’t really trust a nurse or an OB with my insulin dosing.
Okay, so I skip to my last question, pretty easy one: “Have you had Type 1 Diabetic patients before?” I figured she’s had to have had T1!D patients before, especially if she’s supposed to specialize in high-risk pregnancies. That’s when she hits me with “Well, it’s not common for your age group…so…”
…
….
……
I honestly, just stared at her for a few seconds. At that point I knew we would never see eye-to-eye. She didn’t understand type 1 diabetes. Type 1 Diabetes IS VERY COMMON for my age group, although I’ve never heard it phrased that way. I am a 29 year old type 1 diabetic. I was diagnosed at age 10. During my hospital stay after my diagnosis two more kids we’re diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, both ages 10-12 like myself (my “age group”). In that one random week, at one random hospital, 3 cases of children came in with T1D.
I mean no disrespect when I say that it’s NOT type 2 diabetes. It’s NOT gestational diabetes. It’s TYPE 1 DIABETES. 👏Type 👏 1 👏 Dia👏betes for the people in the back.
In that moment of staring at her, I knew I would never return to this office. Now, I am not saying this woman isn’t a good OB, she could be a great OB, but she was not the OB for me, and maybe not for any type 1 diabetic.
I went through the motions and left the office. I called my Mom as soon as I got in the car and told her about the visit and what the doctor said. I didn’t tell her on that phone call that I wasn’t going back. I drove the 30 minute ride home in silence, by the time I pulled into my driveway I had my plan to go back to my old OB’s office. I was going to have that awful office staff have MY doctor call me, something I should’ve pushed for from day one.
When I called my Mom back when I got home, she already knew what I was going to say. I was going back to Dr. M’s office. Long story short, Dr. M did call me and we talked about everything. I felt a million times better. She reassured me that everything would be fine. I don’t know if she spoke to her office staff but they’ve been fine to me ever since. I’ve been going to my old office now and I feel comfortable and prepared for the big day.
The Takeaway
I should’ve stuck to my guns from the start, but sometimes I just don’t feel like fighting. Sometimes I just want to be “normal” and enjoy my journey. Even though it’s not always easy, we have to be our own advocates, especially when it comes to our health, and especially when it comes to our baby’s health, in this case. I made a mistake by letting my emotions get the best of me and making a quick decision, luckily I realized quickly that it wasn’t going to work and I corrected the situation. Things are never going to go smoothly, and it’s not just because of my diabetes. As pregnant women in the year 2020, we have what seems like a million tests and appointments, it’s a lot of stress. I’m just trying to take everything as it comes and enjoy all the in-betweens. Bless!
